Getting to Know Me, Getting to Live Passionately

A few months ago, I left a scene showcase that I thoroughly enjoyed feeling...depressed? This may seem counterintuitive, but as it turns out, for me feeling down after watching a dance performance or a play was actually a very familiar experience--although one I hadn't felt in years.

But this was the first time in my life that I was aware that I was leaving with a heavy feeling in my heart, triggering a flood of memories of previous instances. 

I suddenly remembered the many times in my life -- from elementary school to college -- where  I experienced the mixed emotions of admiration, envy, self-pity, ambition, self-doubt as a spectator watching a play, or a band rocking out , or a hip-hop troupe wowing the crowd. What I realized at that point was how much I wanted to be on stage and to perform. Specifically, to act and to dance hip-hop.